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TNT Magazine, November 7th 2005

Lingo Learning

Many people’s biggest fear of travelling is being able to speak the local language but, as Kim Smith discovers, there are ways to overcome it.

"Hallo, wie gehts?"
I if a spunky German comes your way throwing these words at you, it's your cue to say, "Gut danke Und du?"

Although it sounds like you're expressing a gut feeling he's wearing dark undies, you're simply replying, "Good thank you and you?" lo his question of: "Hello, how goes it?"

Make no mistake (although every second word I tried to pronounce was one), learning another language is no walk in the park.

In my first German lesson I felt completely incompetent with my inability to immediately catch on. Daniel Kayser, my (very patient) tutor laughed (with me) at my frustration, but continually reassured me that it was all part of the learning process (what, to sound like a complete twat?)

Throughout the class, Kayser's excited exclamations of "yes, yes, that's it!" when I pronounced something correctly spurred me on and made me eager to learn more. German is, in fact, a relative of English, he tells me.

"Some words are very similar in the two languages or easy to guess what the translation will be," he says. Some examples, he continues, are 'mother', pronounced 'mut­ ter', and 'to drink', pronounced 'tnnken'.

Speaking of drinking, and thinking of an impending trip to Germany, I ask Kayser to teach me how to say, "Can I have two beers please?" A knowing laugh suggests I'm not ifie first student to request this all-important phrase, which is broken down as; "Kann (Can) ich (I) bine (please) zwei (two) Beers (beers) haben (have)?"

After this instruction I query Kayser about the placement of 'have', why beer is spelt with a capital and ask him to teach me 'wine 1, too.

The second verb always ends the sentence, all nouns start with a capital letter and the bottled bliss is 'wein', he tells me as I jot myself reminders.

I found the biggest hurdle was overcoming my fear of completely mispronouncing words, but when you consider some words like 'tschuss' (bye) that sound nothing like they look, there is no shame.

There's also a selection of words, 'bye' included, that instead of rolling off your tongue, require you to twist and roll it in order to execute it correctly.

At times I thought I sounded like an angry snake hissing or a cat in distress, which led me to wonder if my articulation will scare the Germans.

Kayser shelves my concerns and promises that any efforts to speak the local language will be appreciated — even if it's only to say, "I speak almost no German — one, two, three, that's all I know", which translates as: "Ich spreche fast kein Deutsch — eins, zwei, drei, das ist alles."

Kayser, who has been teaching for 10 years, says that if you want to learn German, or any other language for that matter, you should practice at least 15 minutes a day in between weekly lessons and be prepared to laugh at yourself.

"Relax and enjoy discovering the langauge," he says. "It is very rewarding as you make progress and it doesn't matter if you make mistakes, just have a go."

German is spoken throughout Germany, Austria and most of Switzerland, and is an extremely useful language to have throughout Eastern Europe and with older people who may not speak any English.

There are many reasons for wanting to learn a language, for business — if you're constantly travelling abroad and learning the language of those you're negotiating deals with would obviously help; personal satisfac­ tion — if you've always had a desire to add something next to English on your CV — or if the love of your life is foreign. Whatever the reason, viel gluck! (good luck!)

• Kirn Smith did a two-hour private lesson with Cactus Language Training, who offer a variety of language courses ranging from Hebrew and Hindu to Spanish and Swedish. Courses can be tailored to your needs in individual or group sessions. They are currently running classes in Italian, French and Spanish at Russell Square for a reduced price of £149 for a 10-week group course including a course book.

Last-minute courses like the one I had are useful if you want to learn some basics before a trip away, but it's advisable to undergo a series of lessons Training can take place at your home, office or in many of Cactus' UK-wide fully-equipped training rooms. See www.cactuslanguagetraining.com or call 0845 130 4775. •

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

Can I buy you a drink?
Darf ich dich zu einem Drink emladen">

I like you very much
Ich mag dich sehr

May I kiss you?
Darf ich dich kussen?

Your place or mine?
Zu dir oder zu mir?

You'd better go now
Du gehst jetzt besser